Day #4

Wow, it feels like I just started this thing yesterday, but that was 4 days ago. Goes to show how much I time I waste everyday.

Right now, I'm waiting for (and hoping) my presentation loads via email for homeroom...I was bored of staring at the screen and i don't want to do math, so I was like "Hey, now's a good time to go post on that blog you created and want to try and stay on top of". I do want to keep up with this thing, I really do. So I'm trying very hard to do that.

I realized last night how good other people are at music. I'm mean, compared to them, I suck. I have NOTHING on some of the everyday people out there. Like, nothing. 

But the sad part, or maybe not the sad part, maybe the good part, maybe the pitiful part, I don't know, the "part" is....

I don't care. I love that they are talented. I like some of their music. But I love singing and playing guitar so much, that I don't care if I suck compared to them. It doesn't matter. They don't need to know how much I am totally loving this music-making thing. I'll get better: heck, I get better every day. I can hear it. I can feel it in my fingertips (literally) when I play. 

I want to share it with people who are the same way, or even people who aren't. That's why the corner of the sidewalk and the outside of gas stations are so appealing. 'Cause i could sit there and sing, and watch them stare at me. I don't want them to tell me I'm good, I have a long ways to go, I'm SO FAR from good, I just want them to hear me, and tell me what I do wrong, to challenge me, and push me to be better. I want to mount this ladder of musical abilities and just keep climbing.

I have the opportunity to learn more praise and worship type songs, and I want to take advantage of that.

Would I play at events? If someone asked me too, and I felt prepared.

Would I be in a band? If they were people I could relate to, and people who could challenge me and vise versa.

Would I want to perform? Perform....on the corner? Yes. At a big event? No. For friends? It depends...will they push me to be better, or try to flatter me? 

Not that I don't want to hear nice things. Of course I do. But one thing I appreciate above all else is honesty, and if I don't think you're being honest, I'm not gonna be flattered, I'm gonna be like "Nope" or "Thanks...(yeah NOT true)"  

Because if I was famous, and you heard me on the radio, would you say "oh, they're really good" or would you say "hmm, they're okay" or would you change the channel?

Not that I will ever be famous. No. In the highly unlikely chance that it was ever ever ever offered to me, I would say no.

Would I record music? Duh, yeah. It's kinda my passion, here.

Would I promote albums and be on stage and make lots of money? Oh dear, please NO. 

I don' like the idea of having to work my butt off to please people. Please yourselves, I'm not your servant!

It's funny and kinda sad, that every topic I write about here turns straight to my black hole of love for music. Like, I don't think there's a way to possibly measure it. But I should stop writing about this, 'cause eventually I'm gonna bore myself to death. Actually, I'm not sure that's possible. I love reading what I write, not matter what it's about, even stupid stuff so I'm sure I'll look back and read all this one day. 

But anyways, I should be doing math, but I'm gonna go play my guitar instead, so...yeahhhh

  Anyways